Karma is a dreadfully selfless bitch.

I can't really understand it but I have this constant feeling of dread. I can comprehend why, but the reality is there is no logical cause. My comprehension is my general grasp on the idea of karma. Things have been going well recently, infact too well, and so I can conclude I am fucked in the near future unless I lose a leg or do something so selfless I elevate to a level of enlightenment only known by Buddha himself. The problem with selfless acts is I am so aware of what I'm doing and what the outcome will be that nothing can be considered selfless when I've already considered the outcome and therefore concluded that is what I want - 'I' being the key letter/word there.
So how is a selfless act conceived? I have come across a female with the same elevated irritation by the general population of humans as me, same travel aspirations (I.e. Everywhere) and just general awesomeness that I am quite frankly enthralled by, and she seems to be interested in me too, so unless I come up with something quick, I'll start going at my leg with a rusty saw.
Again back to the general issue of the idea of something being selfless - I will be hopefully accomplishing this act, even with the knowledge that within the success of such an act I will be karma-neutral once again to plow on with happiness. Therefore, un-selfless be this act lest I do it unconsciously, or without immediate thought or inspiration to the general outcomes provided by such an act. Basically by becoming mentally redundant I could accomplish such an act, so I think I may have to go crash a car without the seatbelt. Either that or somehow get unknowingly (even though I want it to happen, and have therefore now plotted it as such) robbed, then decide to not press charges or something.
I think my problem might be in that I'm so used to a negative input at some stage that my melancholy nature cannot comprehend anything half decent happening. Essentially anything could happen and all will be well, without the loss of a limb or selfless acts impossible to achieve in their previous acknowledgement.
In other news, don't you hate that point on a train journey where you sit down and notice there is someone sat maybe across or a seat away, but in the reflection of the window it would seem as if they are staring at you? They could simply be staring constantly out of the window without blinking, or they are infatuated with you. I mean, what can you do? You can't suggest anything. Staring back may aid them into a) thinking you are infact the weirdo staring at them or, b) give them even more reason to stare due to your obvious (though unexpected even to yourself) infatuation of them also. So what do you do? You just sit there and idly type away on your shitty little blog, hoping the problem will disappear - maybe they'll get off the train before you (even though you get off before the epicentre of the general commuter journey) or you just pray there is enough light through the window to dispel any sort of reflection for the vast majority of the journey.
Paralysation - this would surely give me the ultimate in negative karma, to go by forever unheeded? Christopher Reeves must be rolling in it right now.